The above paper was completed at an unnamed top-tier Canadian university.
The collaboration involved students and faculty upholding indiscriminate health & hygiene standards.
Their in-depth research probed their field’s lower-bowels to uncover the surface of humanity, and shed light on the anthropological ring that rules them all.

Unironically, the paper’s findings were discarded.
Similar papers have already begun at other esteemed colleges.
The results are expected to be gold.